Despite the whispers of these horrid books resurfacing in a few short months, we want to put your minds at ease. These banned books will NOT be resurfacing. Not in a few months. Not ever. Ignore the rumors spread by the three wanted criminals or the author. All retailers have been notified of the extermination of said forbidden text. Please do not keep searching. You will not find anything. And rest assured, no matter what you hear, these troubling stories will not be back.
Do not visit the below site this evening. The HHC has been notified that a banned book cover will be displayed there against the wishes of The Committee. Any knowledge of prohibited viewing of this book cover will result in a swift reprimand and mandatory visit to our medical facility to ensure no permanent damage was done to the viewer’s mind. Typical side effects of this visit may include minor memory loss and headaches. These are nothing to worry about and are normal. The best way to avoid this side effect is to refrain from viewing the contraband in the first place. The HHC will worry about this prohibited book cover so you don’t have to.
Are you feeling down? Do you often have questions about life, the system, or the Workers? Don’t let those unnecessary thoughts trouble you anymore! We can bring you happiness in a bottle! Don’t hesitate to stop any Worker or HHC Committee member to ask for more details, because your happiness is important to us.
We would like to give our lovely residents one final reminder that any book found on the “banned book list” is strictly prohibited. Anyone found in possession of this contraband will be reported to the Halcyon Happiness Committee immediately where they will receive a minor reprimand as well as a brief mandatory sedation period. Don’t worry, that’s not as scary as it sounds. It’s like taking a relaxing nap. We’ll even bake Sugar Cookies for your trouble!
As usual, everything is just fine with our beautiful Halcyon. Is everyone looking forward to the next ice cream social? Did everyone catch the latest top ranking movie? Did you also notice some kind of an unexpected video interruption during the film? Just ignore that.
On an unrelated note, trust is very important on Halcyon. It’s important to trust everyone, especially the Workers. Should you run into these people, however, do not trust them.
(Emily Browning, Logan Lerman, and Samuel Xavier are a “fan cast” and not official representatives of The Sugar Coated Trilogy in any way.)